…Confussion…
i still have feeling for charlie and i know joel is in love with me and i also know charlie is an asshole and joel is the only person i care to talk to anymore and the only person i trust and i love him but … i dont know if im IN love with him. i fuck everything good up in my life and i dont want to fuck this up cause hes the only reason i lived threw charlie and my 2 break ups and adams and my break ups and my bi-poler-ness and depression streaks and friends fights and being told i have no reason to be here so i should just die… if i fuck things up with him… witch i will… i will have nothing left… i know… what if its just friend love? what if its real love? im to affraid to find out! :’( but i cant sleep without hearing his voice, i freaking listened to the voice mail he left me a week ago until i fell asleep to the sound of his voice. i need to know what this is… but i can if im affraid to even want to know! help?!
